My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Given the low cost and high power of computer generated special effects, superhero movies are all the rage in Hollywood, from the revival of the Batman and Superman franchises, the continuing success of the Spider-Man franchise, the spectacle of Tim Allen as a superhero, and so on. So it’s not a surprise that someone would take CGI firepower and use it in a comedy, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, and with Uma Thurman as the titular superhero ex-girlfriend, they have someone who could credibly pull it off.

But what certainly seems like a clever Saturday Night Live bit never really does more than could be done in about four minutes on a Saturday night. The movie is padded with meeting the characters, seeing the relationship blossom, giving a reason for them to break up, THEN finally getting the break-up before having a somewhat forced resolution, ending the best part of the movie for the sake of it being a conventional film.

The best stuff that you’ve certainly seen in the commercials — G-Girl twisting a butcher knife with her bare hands during the break-up, flying off and busting through her now ex-boyfriend’s roof, flinging a live killer shark through a window — that’s all from the sequence in the middle, when she’s in deranged ex-girlfriend mode. The other stuff that’s added on, including a tiresome Lex Luthor-like nemesis, is what drags this film down. (And with all the padding, we never get the only interesting backstory: What G-Girl means, other than a blink-and-you-miss-it suggestion in a deleted scene that it might be a g-spot joke, which doesn’t make sense for the characters at all.)

It’s not the fault of the supporting cast that they’re underfoot. Rainn Wilson is good, as is Anna Faris, although Wanda Sykes is criminally wasted in this film. Eddie Izzard doesn’t really get the chance to shine that he deserves: His archvillainous Professor Bedlam is, frankly, kind of a wuss and clearly no match for G-Girl in any sense.

This isn’t a bad way to spend an evening for a superhero fan: The good stuff is pretty good, the special effects are neat (G-Girl’s flight and high-speed motion has a nice visual), there’s a number of DC Comics references (G-Girl spinning like a top to suck the oxygen away from a fire, super-breath and fire-vision, a creepy tryst a half-mile above Manhattan set to dopey Superman I romantic music that terrifies Luke Wilson’s non-flying character) and the performers do a good job with very ordinary material.

But it’s a rental for all but the most obsessive Uma Thurman or Luke Wilson fans.

Thud!

The genius of Terry Pratchett in “Thud!” is not his deft blending of serious themes with comedy, nor his light touch while social issues with mystery novels, nor even his wildly inventive worldbuilding. Pratchett is able to do what few contemporary writers are able to do, in that he continues to crank out novels that absolutely function as the latest installment in a serialized long-form novel — elements of “Going Postal,” “The Truth,” all the guards novels, the wizard novels and more all appear in “Thud!” — yet stands alone perfectly well.

One doesn’t need to have followed Sam Vimes’ journey from street cop to duke to understand his relationship with the city’s ruler, his wife, his fellow cops or the community. If you have read it, it adds an extra richness to the proceedings, but if you haven’t, Pratchett touches on everything just enough so that even new readers won’t be lost. Every Discworld novel is someone’s first, and if they jump on board with “Thud!” not only will they not be disappointed or lost, they’ll have read a strong comedy that speaks to a number of the major issues of the setting — as well as to the real-world issues of ethnic strife and the ability for ancient history to cause blood to continue to be spilled over the centuries — they’ll likely want to pick up all the other novels as well.

For committed Discworld fans, “Thud!” is a romp which finally pulls the dwarf/troll ethnic hatred to the forefront, discusses its roots, its mythical and religious dimensions, how it manifests itself in the realpolitik of Discworld and how it manifests in the teaming streets of Ankh-Morpork. Pratchett isn’t so tied down with his metaphor as to make it possible to draw lines from the conflict to the Middle East or Northern Ireland or Bosnia or any other real world group. Instead, he works on the major elements of all ethnic strife, including demagoguery and the ability of people to suddenly turn on neighbors who were just fine a week before. He also addresses the fairly thorny issue of people not feeling true to their groups unless they manifest these sorts of deep-seated hatreds in a serious way.

The story also includes a potential major change for the setting in the closing pages, potentially even bigger than the arrival of the clacks many books back. Even if one isn’t a fan of the dwarf/troll relationship or the guards’ storyline, it’d likely be worth reading the novel just to understand the future changes to the setting, which could potentially be dramatic.

“Thud!” is one of Pratchett’s best Discworld novels to date and is enthusiastically recommended for fans of the setting, as well as fantasy novel fans in general.

iPod Top 100: 2006

It’s that time of year, where I reset the old iPod’s play count to zero. But before I start tracking what I’m listening to the most in 2007, here’s a look back at what the top 100 songs I listened to in 2006. (Here’s the 2005 list.)

1. Los Angeles – Sugarcult
2. One Thousand Tears of a Tarantula – Dengue Fever
3. I Don’t Want to Fall in Love – She Wants Revenge
4. Ladylike – Storm Large and the Balls (featuring Dave Navarro)
5. Crazy – Gnarls Barkley
6. Tell Me Baby – Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. What Girls Want – Material Issue
8. The Adventure – Angels & Airwaves
9. Love Found Me – DecembeRadio
10. Shot Shot – Gomez
11. In the Morning – Junior Boys
12. Here It Goes Again – O.K. Go
13. Do Ya – Peaches
14. Fidelity – Regina Spektor
15. All Good – Zeroleen
16. 4 Leaf Clover – Old 97’s
17. Master Plan – Signal Hill Transmission
18. Original Fire – Audioslave
19. Yours to Keep – Teddybears
20. Cubicle – Rinôçérôse
21. When You Were Young – The Killers
22. Finding Out True Love is Blind – Louis XIV
23. Would You … ? – Touch and Go
24. Suzie – Boy Kill Boy
25. Bisexual Chick – John Oszajca
26. Love Me Like You Do – The Magic Numbers
27. Tahitian Moon – Porno for Pyros
28. Dani California – Red Hot Chili Peppers
29. Island in the Sun – Weezer
30. Bang Bang You’re Dead – Dirty Pretty Things
31. Town Called Malice – The Jam
32. In the Morning – Razorlight
33. True Affection – The Blow
34. Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt – We Are Scientists
35. Leave Before the Lights Come On – Arctic Monkeys
36. Black Horse and the Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall
37. Store Bought Bones – The Raconteurs
38. Tear You Apart – She Wants Revenge
39. Is It Any Wonder? – Keane
40. Barely Listening – Pilot Speed
41. Against All Odds – The Postal Service
42. Steady, As She Goes – The Raconteurs
43. Bom Bom Bom – The Living Things
44. Plan B – Mute Math
45. Girl and the Sea – The Presets
46. Smile – Lily Allen
47. Takin’ Care of Business – Bachman Turner Overdrive
48. My Heart is the Bums on the Street – Marah
49. Voodoo Cadillac – Southern Culture on the Skids
50. Riot Radio – The Dead 60s
51. Strict Machine – Goldfrapp
52. Ooh La La – Goldfrapp
53. I’m No Angel – Gregg Allman
54. Long Cool Woman (in a Black Dress) – The Hollies
55. Throw it Away – Juke Kartel with Toby Rand
56. Walt Whitman Bridge – Marah
57. The Ugly Truth – Matthew Sweet
58. I Predict a Riot – The Kaiser Chiefs
59. L.S.F. (Lost Souls Forever) – Kasabian
60. New York Girls – Morningwood
61. Fille atomique – Nous Non Plus
62. Meet Ze Monstra – PJ Harvey
63. Medicine – Sons & Daughters
64. Mama’s Room – Under the Influence of Giants
65. DOA – Foo Fighters
66. Koop Island Blues – Koop
67. Lonely Train – Black Stone Cherry
68. You’re My Kind – Elektrochemie
69. Junior Kickstart – The Go! Team
70. Sick of Myself – Matthew Sweet
71. Living Alone – The Procession
72. Mama Told Me (Not to Come) – Three Dog Night
73. Suicide Sally & Johnny Guitar – Primal Scream
74. Dance Me In – Sons & Daughters
75. Are You With Me? – Vaux
76. My Doorbell – The White Stripes
77. 6 A.M. Jullandar Square – Cornershop
78. Hold On, Hold On – Neko Case
79. Welcome to the Show – Pigeon John
80. Monsters – Sons & Daughters
81. I Turn My Camera On – Spoon
82. Blue Orchid – The White Stripes
83. Would You Come With Me – The Elected
84. Mother’s Little Helper – Liz Phair
85. Youth – Matisyahu
86. Black Betty – Spiderbait
87. The Fallen – Franz Ferdinand
88. Bad Things – Jace Everett
89. Black Devil Car – Jamiroquai
90. Don’t Have Time – Liz Phair
91. Sooner or Later – Marah
92. Girlfriend – Matthew Sweet
93. Gold Lion – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
94. Year of the Cat – Al Stewart
95. Not Ready to Make Nice – The Dixie Chicks
96. Munich – The Editors
97. Jetsetter – Morningwood
98. Beautiful Thing – Patrice Pike
99. Sweet Lady – What Made Milwaukee Famous
100. Accidental Death – Rilo Kiley

Several of 2005’s top 100 charted again:

• “Bom Bom Bom” by The Living Things dropped 11 places, from #34 to #43.
• “I’m No Angel” by Gregg Allman went up, from #78 to #53.
• “I Predict a Riot” by The Kaiser Chiefs dropped 10 places, from #48 to #58.
• “Dance Me In” by the criminally underappreciated Sons & Daughters rose from #97 to #74.
• “Blue Orchid” by The White Stripes went from #14 all the way down to #82, a plummet only exceeded by …
• “Black Betty” by Spiderbait dropping from #9 to #86.
• And perennial favorite “Girlfriend” by Matthew Sweet went from #69 to #92.

For other really great end-of-year lists/shows, check out the Best of 2006 shows at Dave Cusick’s Post Modern Rock Show and the Coverville Countdown shows at Coverville.

The iPod’s play counts have all been reset. I’ll see you back here on January 1, 2008.

“Chinese Democracy” gets a release date

A few days late, but this just gets funnier every time I read it: Axl Rose has announced a release date for the next Guns N’ Roses album, “Chinese Democracy.”

To say the making of this album has been an unbearably long and incomprehensible journey would be an understatement. Overcoming the endless and seemingly insane amount of obstacles faced by all involved, notwithstanding the emotional challenges endured by everyone — the fans, the band, our road crew and business team — has at many times seemed like a bad dream in which one wakes up only to find that they are still in the nightmare. Unfortunately, this time it has been played out for over a decade in real life.

The true, ongoing, behind-the-scenes triumphs and casualties are much more complicated than any negative speculation that the media or otherwise has managed to hit upon. For much of the time, various legal issues have arisen, demanding that the best way to deal with these things publicly, quite frankly, was to keep our mouths shut in an attempt to ensure the best outcome — especially one that wouldn’t jeopardize the band or the album. It’s easy for people to point out how others have handled similar situations or how they would have dealt with these issues themselves if they encountered them in their own lives. But again, without full knowledge of the various dynamics and circumstances involved, these types of comments or commentary are just uninformed, disassociated, generally useless — and often hindering — speculation.

In regard to a release date for the album itself, certain minor –- and I do mean minor — additions, as well as contract negotiations, need to be completed. Barring any unforeseen complications, these things have now been adequately scheduled. The band and I, along with our record company, feel that this record deserves the proper setup and promotion, not the “13 Tuesdays leftâ€? and “It may just appear in your record storeâ€? approach offered by management. We believe this strategy may have been used as a tool by management to sell this latest tour to the various promoters, and if this was the case, this was obviously unfair to them. The stress of dealing with this situation has been considerable for everyone, including the band, but more important, in our opinion, it was something utterly insane to do to our fans. You have our apologies, and please know we have been laboring over this with management for the entire North American tour.

It takes approximately eight weeks for an album to hit the shelves once it has been turned in to the record company. For whatever reasons, it appears that it may have been mistakenly inferred by management that this time period could be condensed to three weeks. With that being said, this is not a promise, a lie or a guarantee, but we do wish to announce a tentative release date of March 6. This is the first time we have done this publicly for this album. Others have made up all the other dates for their own reasons. We would like to assure the fans that everything in our power will be done to meet this date. Once it is finalized and official, you will be notified. If we are delayed for unseen reasons, you also will be notified as soon as possible in regard to a new date, and the album will be released as shortly thereafter as is possible. We thank you for your patience.

In the end, it’s just an album, but it’s one that I, the band, our record company and all involved believe and feel is a true Guns N’ Roses album. Ultimately the public will decide, and regardless of the outcome, our hearts, lives and our passion has been put into this project every step of the way.

The album will be the band’s first album of new songs since 1991 and was originally scheduled for release in 1997.

I’m not going to both keeping March 6 free on my calendar.

Tabloid Wars on DVD?

Am I really the only person wishing the first (and only?) season of Tabloid Wars was on DVD? (Even CJR Daily liked it!) I know, it’s available on iTunes — I just don’t want to watch it on my computer unless I have to.